Still
by Fukai Yoru
Summary: The five senses explored.
1. Chapter 1

"**Still"**

By: Yoru

**Summary:** The five senses as explored by a lovely silver-haired man.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor claim to own the hotness that is Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. That right belongs to someone much more creative than I.

**Warnings:** Love of the M/M variety, masturbation to said love, incest, and possible spoilers.

_I want you._

I've wanted you since I first knew you were alive. Deep in a womb of viscous, eerily aqua liquid with Mother's voice in our heads, whispering everything we needed to know, all the things that would help us complete our mission.

I knew of Sephiroth, knew somehow that it would be he who was chosen and that one of us was just a shell for his rebirth. After all, we were merely bodies of thought. But it was Kadaj who would ultimately be Sephiroth's vessel, the two so uncannily similar in both appearance and insanity that I often wondered if Kadaj was how Sephiroth had been in his own youth.

And of course, there was you. So perfect, almost a clone yourself, I think each of us had to do a double take. But it turned out you were hardly like us at all. You were the sun to our moon and that gravity was what first drew me in.

There was pain, of course, but there had always been pain. However, this was a new sort of pain, a new sort of aliveness. It always began in my chest then slithered down to coil itself in my groin. And always with a sigh, I knew how to relieve it.

_I touch myself when I think of you._

Kadaj had always liked to touch me. When he'd find me hunched over, hand working furiously, and your name a prayer on my lips, he'd sigh and smile softly at me before his hand replaced my own and his name became my mantra as I came.

_I see you in the darkness._

It was always you that I saw, your eyes two spheres of electric blue divinity, hair like spun gold in a halo about your head, soft skin and rough hands. I imagined what those hands could do to me, the sounds they could evoke, the feelings they could elicit. And it was enough to send me over the edge.

_I scent you in the wind._

Spice and Mako, and I knew you were coming. All for the children or so you said. They were like us now: stronger, faster, dangerous. Kadaj filled their heads with lovely fairytale fancies, and they drank thinking they'd be healed. You were so beautiful in the ensuing fight: graceful, powerful, deadly. All that I could ever want.

_I hear the way you move._

The rustle of clothes against your skin, the clang of steel against steel, the roar of your motorbike. Gunshots in the wind and you avoided them all. My bullets only struck once, and even in the end, that was the only mark from any of us that marred your perfection. Not even Kadaj's skilled Souba could pierce your defenses. I hoped you could feel _me_.

_I taste the death, the regret, the hope._

In the end, the death was what saved us all. A ghosted caress of nectar on my lips and then I knew euphoria. Even if you weren't aware, it was your love that ultimately redeemed us and made us worthy for our true Mother. Even if it hadn't been intended, I fell in love with you. Even if you hadn't meant to, you fell in love with me.

_And I want you still._


	2. CSide

"**Still: C-Side"**

**Summary:** More thorough explanation of the five senses from a new POV.

**Disclaimer:** sobs I'll never own any of it.

"**C-Side"**

Icy beauty. He's untouched and untouchable, distant and dangerous, so like something I had once, long ago.

_I see your face._

He is breath-taking, caught between the softness of youth and the maturity of age. He's soft angles and strong planes, no doubt pliant strength hiding beneath his clinging leather attire. He's distracting with his silky hair and his knowing green eyes and the curve of his pouty lips.

_I smell your desire._

His scent reeks of want, hints of gun oil and honeysuckle clinging to his skin and hair teasingly. I can smell the Mako in him overlaid with a lust that teeters on primal. Gods, how I've waited for this, to feel _him_ again, even if this one is only a body of _his_ thoughts.

_I feel your breath._

His lips ghost over mine, just as soft and yielding as I imagined they would be. His breath is warm and excited, short exhalations that lead to quiet moans and whispers of my name. He is all that I've wanted, all that I've waited for.

_I taste your skin._

His skin is a smooth as satin and supple as the soft leather garb he dons. He is pale and perfect beneath me as I (hopefully) had been beneath _him_. He is as perfect as a marble sculpture and just as hard. The tang of metal graces my tongue as I trail a wet path to his need.

_I hear your sigh._

My name falls from his full lips in a breathy sigh that shoots desire straight to my arousal. He is exquisite beneath the skill of my mouth, arching and writhing so elegantly under my touch. He shatters beautifully at his climax, my name broken syllables on his tongue as I taste him on my own.

_I can't help but want you._

His hands quest down my body right to where I need him most. He parts his thighs, inviting me inside, and after sweet sanity-stealing preparation, I finally find him all around me.

We move as though we are made for one another, and in a way, we are. He fits me, compliments me, like some long missing part finally found. I find my euphoria within him, moaning his name even as I think another.

In the end, I find myself not quite alone, but not quite satisfied either. I can feel him still and maybe in another life, I'll have him again.

_I want you always._


End file.
